Swearing Helps.

I'm always surprised by the people who love existential angst...aka drama.

Sure, I keep a "happy" journal and an "emo" journal but they always seem to be getting muddled together. A consequence of existential angst I guess. Or laziness of trying to match a journal entry to my mood...

Whenever I've found myself in interesting or challenging life situations recently, I've been trying to adopt the custom of asking myself "How can I learn from this? How can I grow as a person? How do I use this experience and keep moving forward?" Sometimes it's easy: be more patient, be kinder/gentler with your words. Well hot damn. I don't know sometimes...and then I generally find that swearing helps.

Particularly the eff word in my case. I don't know why but after I've written it out in a journal I usually feel better. Got this message below in my daily emails from "the universe"  -- they usually are cute and cheery...and sometimes eerily true. Don't know how it particularly relates right now...but meh, don't care so much.

Sometimes, Lee Ann, when circumstances or disappointments bump you off track, it's the beginning of an even bigger dream coming true, that could not have come true on the track you were on.

Yeah, always.

Always, always -
    The Universe

Calvin and Hobbes also had a little comic that said "Life's a lot harder to take when you don't know any good swear words." Which I also like. Urgh.

Insert swear words here.
That's all for tonight I think.

MTFBWY... 

Great success.

They say the first step is always the hardest. I'm not sure if I've taken my first step or not yet...but I had a pretty productive day today so I'll put a tally in my box vs. life's.

Things that I accomplished: kitchen cleaned, vacuumed, garden watered and tended, Rx picked up, groceries bought, wushu'd, and then gym'd. Since I went to wushu I did arms at the gym with the PT...they are kind of in dead-mode now but pain is weakness leaving the body.

I am: fierce, compassionate, intelligent, wise, graceful, honest, and loving. These are my qualities and essence words :).

So I was flipping through my La Vita Nueva journal to find my essence words that I wrote down a while back and came across some other random crapola that I really liked...so here it is (it was in gold in the journal...):

What do I want? 
Where do I want to go from here? 

EVERYTHING in your life has lead you here to this moment -- RIGHT NOW. 

Live for joy! Is there really anything else for us in life? Why do we do things? Answer: To become more joyous! Duh!

What makes me happy and joyous?

Also, on a side note...I've been seeing arrows everywhere lately. I wonder if this is a sign to follow my goal of learning to shoot with a bow and arrow. I'm pretty boss with guns...but I hella suck at arrows...Nate says that I need a lesson and that that will help...I just have this thing with patience and well, not having any. I like things that I'm instantly good at. We'll see. I'll go where the Force leads me and try not to be stubborn. (TRY)

I really think that I need to be more patient with myself as I'm getting back into shape. I know I've lost inches, but the pounds aren't coming off (yay muscle mass). I guess I really shouldn't complain.

I suppose that'll be all for this entry. Nothing mind-blowing, just trying to stay productive and sort "life" out.

Love and MTFBWY
LA

The Journey Begins.

Hello World.

That was my attempt at coding humour. I digress. Isn't it a bit creepy how Google has this blog and it knows everything about me? Or maybe I just forgot I made it a while ago. Either way, it's time for me to start blogging and getting my poodoo together on my daily Jedi experiences.

I start with the personal trainer tomorrow to get back into ass-kicking shape. I'll probably go to Wushu first and the run over to the gym...at least that's the plan. I've been reading Star Wars: Dawn of the Jedi Into the Void and it's really interesting. Lots of interesting thoughts on how the Je'daii came to be 25K+ years in the past of where the movies are. Lanoree, the protagonist, is a Je'daii Journeyer...so I've borrowed the rank/status/title as I begin my own Journey :). She still uses a sword; katana or something, that was made by a Force wielding Jedi Master and has cool properties.  I really want to hurry up and learn weapons...especially swords for obvious reasons. Alas, patience is probably what I need to work on. I need to stay focused on doing the forms that I am learning and performing them to the best of my ability. I really need to work on my stamina. I definitely need to work on holding my horse stance...after vacations and life and that three month break from Wushu I've lost my 'chops'. Hopefully the cross training at the gym and the PT will help with this.

Have been thinking about doing an interview style video, showing my skills and acting. Need more confidence though. Wish husband-pants was a bit more supportive of this. I also wish he would have a healthy eating habit(s). I literally blame his mother....but that's a different blog. I'll keep trying to get stuff organized and plan out how this Jedi-Journey thing is going to work out. In the book I mentioned earlier, the Je'daii have different Kesh that are like temples (fighting, force, meditation etc) and they travel around the entire planet and attend all of them in due time. I would like to plan out some stuff like this...I have a friend who's son does Wushu in China perhaps could visit there, meditation in India?, learn a different martial art like Kendo?, meditate at a sangha, practice more yoga and so forth. It'll all come about...I have faith in the Force.

Perhaps I'll an intuitive entry tomorrow. I'll go where the Force sends me and try and be open to all new experiences and ideas. Much love. And, May the Force be with you...Always.

-LA